NEWS
30 Minutes Ago: Shock in D.C.: President Donald Trump Shot AGAIN While Exiting the White House and Has Been Urgently Rushed to the Hospital…
30 Minutes Ago: Shock in D.C.: President Donald Trump Shot AGAIN While Exiting the White House and Has Been Urgently Rushed to the Hospital…
*Washington, D.C. —* In a stunning and surreal repeat of history, former President Donald J. Trump was reportedly shot *again* just moments ago while exiting the White House, setting off a firestorm of panic, speculation, and confusion across the nation.
Sources close to the scene claim that Trump, who had been visiting the White House for what insiders describe as a “top-secret breakfast meeting,” was making his way to his vehicle when a sudden pop echoed through the air. “At first, we thought it was a car backfiring or a MAGA supporter dropping their iPhone,” said one unnamed staffer. “Then we saw the Secret Service dive into action like it was the Super Bowl.”
Trump was swiftly loaded into an armored SUV and rushed to Walter Reed National Military Medical Center. Though the Secret Service has yet to confirm the nature of his injuries, early reports suggest a “graze wound” to his left ear. Eyewitnesses say he shouted, “It’s just a scratch—make America healthy again!” as he was whisked away.
This marks the second time the former president has been “shot” in recent months, leading some to speculate whether he is being targeted—or if he’s simply the unluckiest man alive. Others aren’t ruling out conspiracy, with trending hashtags including #TrumpTargeted, #DeepStateStrikesAgain, and #BulletproofHair on social media platforms.
Oddly, security camera footage from the scene shows a squirrel darting away just moments after the sound of the gunshot. While authorities say it’s “unlikely the squirrel was involved,” internet sleuths have already dubbed the rodent “Lee Harvey Chipmunk.”
At press time, Trump’s spokesperson released a brief statement: “The president is in stable condition, he’s asking for a Diet Coke, and yes—he’s still running in 2024.”
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