Dunkin’ Donuts CEO Reveals A Loss of $1 Billion Since Going Woke: “We’re Sorry, Won’t Try That Again”

CELEBRITYDunkin’ Donuts CEO Reveals A Loss of $1 Billion Since Going Woke: “We’re Sorry, Won’t Try That Again”Published 3 hours ago on September 15, 2024By Bob kate

In a shocking revelation that has sent tremors through the fast-food industry, Dunkin’ Donuts CEO Dave Hoffmann has admitted that the company has suffered a staggering $1 billion loss after what he described as their ill-fated foray into “woke” politics. The confession, made during a hastily organized press conference outside the company’s Canton, Massachusetts headquarters, left investors, customers, and employees alike reeling.

We’re sorry. We won’t try that again,” Hoffmann stated, his voice heavy with regret as he sipped what could only be assumed to be a non-political cup of coffee.

For those who’ve spent the past year sipping lattes and assuming the world of doughnuts was immune to the culture wars, Dunkin’s CEO confirmed otherwise. According to Hoffmann, the company’s decision to embrace what he labeled “woke ideology” was “the biggest corporate blunder since New Coke.” And, much like the ill-fated soda debacle, Dunkin’ is now scrambling to course-correct before its glazed empire crumbles entirely