Taylor Swift Has Ushered In the “Seemingly Ranch” Marketing Bonanza
From a quick Kraft Heinz pivot to the Empire State Building, the singer’s recent football game attendance has been a touchdown for condiments.
History remembers heroes. Humanitarians, great thinkers. People who led revolutions, or developed especially thorough astrology apps. These people have changed the world, contributed to a legacy that reaches far beyond their immediate personal lives, and they are celebrated for it.
Others, however, have a quieter impact. For whatever reason, their names go unremembered. Who, for example, was the first person to think, “Hey, this thing I’m eating would be so much tastier if I added on another creamy little something. What would we call that?”
To the person who revolutionized finger food by popularizing dip: We salute you. And now Taylor Swift, whose name will certainly never be erased from history, is doing the noble work to get dip—if not its mysterious creator—the recognition and respect it deserves.
In case you hadn’t heard (this is deep, deep sarcasm), Swift went to a football game last weekend. She did some pro-level work chest-bumping with a pal when Travis Kelce, who is a tight end for the Kansas City Chiefs and currently romantically linked to Swift (as he put it Wednesday, “I’m enjoying life and I sure as hell enjoyed this weekend”), made a touchdown. Her attendance even moved the needle on merch, reportedly bumping up sales of Kelce’s jersey by 400 percent in a single day. Karma is her boyfriend, but so is Kelce? Cool, we can go with that.
But no matter which humans Swift is dating or not dating, Sunday did bring photographic evidence that she’s been spending time with her one true love: Chicken tenders. More specifically: Chicken tendies and dip. Place your hand upon my hip, for we are about to explore some dip.
Swift paused her mid-game nomming for a photo with a fan, posted to Twitter by user @tswifterastour with the caption “Taylor Swift was eating a piece of chicken with ketchup and seemingly ranch!”
That sentence structure is somehow giving big “I saw Cady Heron wearing Army pants and flip flops, so I bought Army pants and flip flops” vibes, but the “seemingly ranch” of it all has proven to be more popular than someone who fractured their spine and still looks like a rock star, with Heinz announcing a “new Era” (sigh) with a limited-run production of “Ketchup and Seemingly Ranch” dip.
Before you go “oooh, quick pivot!” you need to calm down: It’s a matter of printing off 100 stickers and putting them on something that already exists. Heinz has been selling “Kranch”—a name that’s as horrifying as it is somehow titillating, just right—since 2019, heralding its flavor profile as “so versatile and perfect for all your favorite foods. It makes an excellent dipping sauce for French fries and chicken nuggets.” Kranch. Kraaaaanch.
It’s a real coup for Team Dip and anyone who’s ever been side-eyed for asking for a lil tub of blue cheese or aioli or even, hell, why not, straight-up mayo in a pinch, with their order of fries or nuggies. The marriage of hot and crispy finger food with a veil of cool, creamy dip—never has there been a more perfect or everlasting union. Dips aren’t just delicious, they’re an excellent tool for assisting in achieving developmental milestones and diverse palates. Just peep this list from an occupational therapist who specializes in children’s feeding: It’s a sensory wonderland! It can help kids learn to try new foods! Dipping stuff is great for motor skills! Dips can be nutritious and delicious! The writer recommends incorporating dips into the diets of kids as young as six months old. Dip for the children! The children need dips! Ten out of ten Taylor Swifts agree!
Even the Empire State Building has gotten on board, with the skyscraper lighting up Wednesday night in red and white in tribute. Seriously: The building’s official Twitter account, which we can only imagine is manned by, whatever, a girder or something, posted a photo of the light show with the simple explainer “Ketchup and seemingly ranch.”
It’s a powerful statement, a testament to the power and importance of dip. It’s not like there wasn’t other stuff they could have celebrated. September 27 is also apparently National Chocolate Milk Day and National Corned Beef Hash Day, but I don’t see those cocoa-brown lights anywhere on the Art Deco icon, do you? You certainly do not.
So let’s all raise a chicken nuggie in appreciation and thank Taylor Swift for putting in the work to make sure that dip gets the respect it deserves.